Forgive

Yeah, and they’re here, it’s really cool. But I also, Debbie and I have been started a show called something about the late Billy Graham, and he passed this last year, but his legacy lives on, the effects of his life are real in my life. And it got me thinking about what I want to do, when I grow up. I’m not done yet, I’m not ready to say I’ve done my part, and I want to be all in for God, for his glory. You with me on that?

I mean, isn’t that a cool way? And I got to tell you, a moment ago I got a hug from a little darling, and it made my day, so thank you. But I think God, make me a life toucher, make me the kind of person that’s useful to you everywhere I go. And then we get together as a church, we come together as the people of God, and we leave what for some is a difficult week behind. I don’t know what that is for you this last week, but in most cases we could tell stories of the challenge and the difficult ability that we face outside these walls, right?

Maybe a tough boss, maybe a difficult home situation for you, or a stretching class you take at school, or a teacher that you and this teacher just don’t, you know, it just doesn’t work for you. But that makes sweet times like coming together even sweeter, right? You sort of persevere and endure a week like that, but then you come back together and we come together and it’s exciting. That is until you bump into trouble of all places in the family of God. We’re talking about community right now.

It’s what we’re made for. And my title today sort of reveals where I’m going, and you might ask, hopefully you’re asking, you know, if, why does that even need to happen? I mean, what’s the deal here in the community of God, the people of God that fill these chairs Sunday after Sunday? I’m gonna use a word, it’s a strong word, but it’s the word disappointing. When you and I leave those circumstances where you kind of expect it, rough treatment in the world around us, okay?

Maybe you don’t quite see it that way, but let’s just agree that it’s probably more prominent out there than it is in here. But when you come in here and it gets hard and you didn’t see it coming, somebody hurts you, it was disappointing for you because you didn’t expect that in such a place as this. The church. I’ll bet you can relate to these satire laced words from the book Saints and Snobs. There is actually a title out there.

It says, “To live above with Saints we love.” Ah, that would be glory. But to live below with Saints we know. Now that’s another story. (congregation laughs) All right, we know heaven’s gonna be problem free.

Amen? – Amen. – If you have doubts about that, come see me and I will convince you otherwise. Well, heaven’s a place where there’s no tears, there’s no troubles. It’s good, it’s gonna be great, okay?

But until we get there, we got to deal with the realities that are here, okay? And a sad fact about people. All people, good people, even saintly people, is that they, comma, we all began saintly people. That is people that met Jesus, we all began as sinners, 100% of us. And sinners, here’s a profound statement, write it down, sinners, sin.

(congregation laughs) All right? Now, I shouldn’t be smiling, but it’s true. And sometimes the way they sin can be very, very hurtful and very personal. And it’s off the screen now, but it’s very caustic to community. When someone hurts someone, community takes a hit.

And a series like this current series that we’re in, community is what we’re here for, is more and more challenging to preach. So when I say, you know, you need to be in a life group. Let me break it down to some very practical thing. Some of you have a sort of a visceral reaction that says, are you kidding me? I don’t wanna do that.

I’ve been there. And it hurt like crazy. And if we drill down inside that hurt, we would probably find that somebody messed with you, said something hurtful or hard, hard, and it left you with a bruise. And so community, you’re kind of, you’re into the theory of it, but you’re not so sure you wanna be a part of it again. And so it’s likely that you’re reflecting the facts already when you hear about coming together is somewhat resisting.

You say to yourself, who needs it? Anyway, that’s your reason. Given the pain I’ve experienced from an injury that I suffered from a gossiping tongue in the church, maybe that’s your story. I’m not gonna let a whole lot of me out anymore. Is your sort of, self-preservation and self-protective sort of position?

You might even go so far as to say, you know, given what I’ve been through, only a sadistic person would want more of that. Okay, so here’s the deal. Here’s the deal. Listen to me closely. If your tendency is to pull back, because of the pain, I’m actually in my introduction inadvertently causing you to rethink or relive.

If your tendency is to pull back and even to sort of wave off or swear off community, because it’s fraught with risk, I’m gonna share some words with you that will, I think, challenge your thinking as they did mine. They’re from C.S. Lewis and you would expect this comes with a jolt. Certainly a deep, a deep consideration.

To love it all is to be vulnerable, he said. Love anything in your heart will be wrong and possibly broken. Take that in. You can be guarded, closed up, aloof, and fairly safe. But you’re missing love all together in that place.

Back to Lewis. If you wanna make sure of keeping your heart intact, you must give it to no one. You must live in an animal. He gets a little darker here. Wrap your heart carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries, but you must avoid all entanglements.

Lock your heart up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, and dark, it’s also motionless and airless. Your heart will do a strange thing. It will change. In fact, it will not be broken.

It will become unbreakable. The only place outside of heaven where you can be completely safe from all of the dangers of love is hell. So staying away from closeness in community, I’m just gonna be very, I’m very honest about this ’cause it’s very real to me, but I think it’s real to a ton of us. Maybe your story of coming to GracePoint is you, you’re a refugee, you fled a hurtful situation, you’re here. I wish I could tell you, no one’s ever had an owie here at the hands of somebody else in this place.

And that’s not true. There’s sin, all right? So staying away from closeness and community is tempting for maybe most of us, but it won’t work. Instead, the Bible, while recognizing that there will be hurt and you will suffer harm at times from others that we thought we would want to be close with, gives a fix and that’s what this talks about today. It’s called forgiveness.

Let’s start with why to forgive and then we’ll end up with how? Now, if you’ve been at this church for any length of time in the 25 years, I did a little research in my own sermons over the years and this theme comes up, not infrequently, maybe every year or so, maybe every two years. In other words, I’ve preached a lot on forgiveness and I find new things every time I preach on this subject, I find very personal takeaways and this time is no exception, okay? So I want you to know that and let me start with why we’re back at forgiveness again because so much is riding on it. So the Bible’s answer to hurts and injury is to forgive.

Now, the Bible also goes so far and my Bible’s open to chapter 12 of Hebrews. I’d like you to find your way there. It goes to a place where it explains why so much is riding on our forgiveness. When we get hurt, that’s gonna happen. But what we do from there is in large part up to us and the word we’re using today is forgiveness.

So Hebrews chapter 12, I want you to kind of jump into the middle of something here. Hebrews 12 verse 14, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy.” So this is not gonna be easy and I don’t read in those words, it will be automatic. It will require sweat. It will require intentionality.

Effort is the word I judge. This read, “Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy.” Without holiness, no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. So let me just stop for a moment and let’s circle around the word bitterness ’cause that seems to be the theme here.

It’s what happens in a heart when you’ve been hurt and haven’t forgotten given. When you write that down, bitterness, there is a definition. It’s what happens inside a heart when you’ve been hurt and have not forgiven. In other words, being hurt doesn’t automatically guarantee bitterness at all when the miracle of forgiveness is worked out in your situation. But to be hurt and not forgive is a recipe for bitterness.

Bible is telling us. And bitterness has roots that run deep. I’m not gonna ignore the very compelling picture in verse 15 that there be no bitter root that grows up. So when someone suffers a sinful offense, an injury has occurred. And here’s something that was a discovery that I made as I was studying this again.

Not that injury is not all the time obvious or visible. There’s an injury that’s hidden and secret and silent and largely unknown by others around you, but it’s something that’s strong and significant in your life. We used to have a friend back in Southern Cal who was a whale trainer at SeaWorld. He was one of the people that Shamu, he would ride up on the nose and jump and do crazy things and he was a trainer. And for whatever reason, sounds like I’m picking on Shamu, but whatever the whale was, I think it was Shamu.

One day just kind of got, they think just kind of excited, overexcited. And he, or she, I guess, went up in the air and came down and drove this guy to the bottom of the pool. And he, water, there’s resistance there, whatever. And it drove him to the bottom of the pool and sort of it, he was flat when it kind of speared him into the bottom. And then Shamu didn’t eat him or something.

He just left him alone and this guy came up and wind it, had the wind knocked out of him, the end of it. And he, but within a short amount of time began to exhibit other symptoms. Like I’m just not feeling well, man, he must have really, or she must have really rammed me down. Well, it turns out there was more than, you know, aching muscles. It had crushed his spleen and a whole bunch of internal organs.

And they, they life-flight him. There were heroic measures taken to save his life. Not one symptom was seen. It was all outside of the view of people that saw it and actually frankly wondered how hard he hit in the first place. Well, the damage was done, but it was out of view.

That’s what bitterness is like. When injury happens and forgiveness doesn’t happen, that is something largely out of view. It’s taking place on the inside. And it has roots. That go deep.

Weeding comes to mind when I read roots right here and weeding is one of my least favorite ways to spend the day. I mean, I don’t know if you’re this extreme, but when I see a weed, I want to move. I just want to, hey, let’s sell this place. Let’s move on, Debbie. There’s, there’s a place that we can just pave this yard and we’ll be done with weeds and stuff, you know, and all that.

So sometimes Debbie will say those dreadful words, “Honey, can, can you weed this garden or do something?” And she usually catches me going to the shed and getting the round up and just lock and loading my super-soaker because there’s a lot of over-spray and collateral damage. But so I get, that won’t work. So I take a hoe because that’s the next best thing, right? And if you take a hoe and you got a lot of weeds over here, you can just, like in a short amount of time, you’re done.

Oh, yeah, whatever’s there, but the weeds are gone, right? There’s a mixed opinion about that right now. Some people said no. So the ones that said quickly, “No, you’ve done the same thing, haven’t you?” And you come back in, you barely broke a sweat.

And then a week later, they’re back, right? And, and, and turns out the weeds were only out of sight, and that’s a costly condition. You say, “Well, how costly?” Well, let’s look back at the words themselves. “Can cost you your soul,” right?

Isn’t that what you’re reading? I’d say, “Not seeing the Lord is as costly as I can possibly see to it that no one falls short of the grace of God.” Verse 14, “They will not see you.” “Not see the Lord.” Can cause in the next verse, cause trouble and defile many.

That’s a terrible set of, of, of costs. Chapter 4 in Hebrews says, “Don’t fall away or fall short of the grace of God.” Why would the Bible say that except that it’s possible? In other words, something got in the way. I was running well, I was walking well, I was making progress, and then something happened.

And you check back with that person later and you go, “How come you checked out?” And you peel back the layers long enough and you are likely to find a story like the one we’re reading. A root of bitterness caused trouble and defilement. You know what the word defilement means? A rotting.

Think about food that’s spoiled. In your refrigerator. That’s defilement. It’s a rotten condition. And it’s not going to somehow get better on its own.

But there’s good news. Bitterness can and must be removed. That’s why I love the way verse 15 begins. Three words, see to it. Make sure this doesn’t happen to you.

God’s word is giving something graphic here. Something very practical and actionable. Council about removing something that’s noxious and, and, and, and hurtful. And you’re supposed to remove it. We, a root and all.

So how do we do that? How do you and I see to it? Can I say there’s a series in me, because there’s a lot of scriptures that begin with see to it. That none of you have any evil unbelieving heart, for example, in Hebrews three. Why would that be there?

Except there’s the potential that you have that somehow you end up with an evil unbelieving heart. If I said show me your hand, how many of you want to end up there? No one would put their hand in the ear. You don’t want to have an evil unbelieving heart. But the Bible saying, so there’s something you can do see to it.

In this case, there’s a condition called bitterness and the cost of that hurt that was unforgiven can keep you because you follow it, cause you to fall short of the grace of God, can keep you out of heaven itself. So see to it. Now you’re ready for, okay, what does that mean? What does see to it mean? See to what?

Well, my title says it. See to forgive. And we got to leave Hebrews 12 and go back to Ephesians four to get some good counsel on just how to do that. Would you back up to Ephesians chapter four. And the chapter ends with some very wise and timely counsel when it comes to how to get rid of or see to it.

When you arrive there, you’re looking at some highly practical advice. Counsel from scripture. For people like us who get hurt and hold on to the hurt and don’t release it. We become again. We become the people no one knows necessarily.

We go through the motions like, yeah, I’m good, I’m clean, everything’s fine. It’s like the etch a sketch, nothing. But you know there’s something. No one else knows. So advice is that begins with the removal of a toxic and noxious condition.

Chapter four verse 31. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger. Grawling and slander along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another. Forgiving each other, circle these two words.

Just as in Christ, God forgave you. Just as in Christ, God forgave you. Remember back in Hebrews 12c to it? Another three word power pack. I mean a punch.

Get rid of. Get rid of verse 31. Notice what’s first on the list of hurtful things that hide as I’m describing this morning in an injured heart. Bitterness. If you want to think graphically you won’t forget this connectedness.

If bitterness is a cancer, the tumors that this cancer generates are listed as well next in the same verse. Bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander along with every form of malice. Those are off shoots. They are spin offs of a bitter heart. They’re spin offs of having been injured, something that happened to you and not releasing that injury, not forgiving that injury.

It results in a problem largely out of you. A bitter condition in the heart. Get rid of bitterness. So did you connect those two in Hebrews 12c to it? Here in Ephesians 4 that you get rid of bitterness.

See to it that you get rid of bitterness. But how? How do we do that? Well we’re shown in verse 32. Be kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other just as in Christ, God has forgiven you.

Forgive as we have been forgiven is what we’re being counseled here. In other words, this isn’t a matter of human strength. This isn’t a matter of well some people just let things roll. You’re the kind of personality. It’s like a Teflon to you.

You got hurt but you take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’, right? It’s not that at all ’cause some of the injury is disabling, isn’t it? You’re not the person that God wants you to be. Because there’s this brokenness inside. Remember we started this conversation of, look, community, it’s what we’re made for and you hold back and hide out.

And you’ve got reasons I’m busy and it’s not really my thing. I still have to hear sermon and some songs and I’m good to go. And the Bible disagrees with that conclusion. So how do you do that? It is forgiving.

Forgive as we’ve been forgiven. Counsel here is of course ultimately about Jesus in his forgiveness, not your strength or ability to forgive. So how did Jesus forgive? He answers our question and I got one more place for you to take a look and you back up some more to the first gospel. So Matthew chapter 18.

I wanna just let him, I want you to imagine being there in this setting and hearing him teach about such a relevant topic. How do I forgive? That’s why this passage is in the New Testament. Why it’s in the gospel retelling of Jesus’ life. Jesus is describing a situation here.

In community, okay? Talking about when people like us get together and someone sins against someone, but that sinner, the one that caused the hurt, refuses to repent. It’s a tough spot, okay? They hurt you and as far as you can tell, they’ve rolled on. They don’t even pause.

They don’t look back. As far as you can tell, yeah, damage done. Let’s roll. And so he gives counsel that, what do you do when your brother sins against you? Verse 15 is where it begins.

If your brother or sister sins, these are Jesus’ words, go and point out their fault. But do it privately, he’s saying, just between the two of you. They listen to you, score, right? You’ve won your brother, you’ve won them. This is problem resolved unsettled.

Wouldn’t that be great if that’s how it worked every time? But anticipating that, he goes further, verse 16. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. Maybe you didn’t get it right. Maybe you took it real personal, but it’s not so much personal.

So you gather otherwise observers, witnesses they’re called here, and you gather some data and information. They still refuse to listen, then, go a step further and tell it to the church. They refuse to listen, even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. In other words, this is not a compatibility situation. They don’t see it, they don’t own it, they don’t embrace it, and there’s an impasse.

So Peter, as he often did, if you’ll drop down to verse 21, he asked the question, okay, I often describe Peter as kind of squinting and saying, okay, so let me get this straight. How many times shall I then forgive my brother or sister? What if they’re a repeated offender? How many times am I supposed to forgive them? And he’s not done with his question.

He thought he would just kind of lay a possibility out, see if Jesus bites. He says, how about seven times, which by the way, the prescribed amount by the rabbis of the day was less than half of that, three times. In other words, you hit your limit at three. Your brother sins against you, you know, three times, three, and you’re done. You know, remember, turn the other cheek?

You’re out of cheeks, pop them one, you know, write that kind of idea. All right, with me, I don’t know if Jesus said it quite like this, not recorded here, but you have the idea. So Peter’s thinking I’m gonna just be bold, strong, and stand out. Seven times? Jesus says, I tell you, not seven times, 77 times.

What? What happens if that doesn’t work is really Peter’s question in verse 21? And Jesus answers through this parable. By the way, a parable is a made up story. It’s a story with profound insight, and you’ll see that as we read it.

“Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. It began to settlement a man who owed him 10,000 bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay the master order that he and his wife and his children and all that they had be sold to repay the debt, at this the servant fell on his knees before him. Be patient with me, he begged.” Usually the word begged means a repeated plea.

Be patient, be patient, give me a break, give me a chance. I’ll make it good, I’ll make it right, that kind of spirit of a plea. I’ll make it back to you, I’ll pay back everything. The servant’s master took pity on him. Canceled the debt and let him go.

But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. Where did we go from? 10,000 bags of gold to a hundred silver coins. How many would be happy to leave here with a hundred silver coins today? When you passed on 10,000 bags of gold.

Nope. Why would you do that? The comparisons meant to shock us here. A hundred silver coins. So this servant went out, found one of his fellow servants, he owed him a hundred silver coins and he grabbed him and began to choke him.

It’s already crossed the line. “Pay back what you owe me,” he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him. Be patient with me and I, and I’ll pay back, please, please. But he refused.

Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. And then the master called the servant in, “You wicked servant.” What a change of tone. I canceled all that debt of yours.

10,000 bags of gold. Because you begged me to do so. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I have had on you? In anger, his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured until he should pay back all that he owed. This is how my heavenly father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.

Who’s the king? It’s God, right? The story’s about a king. And the first servant, who’s that? Me.

And you. The first servant is us. And we, because sinners sin, we are complete, we have a huge debt. We have a monstrous billions of dollars in debt to put it in dollar numbers. No means, by the way, of repayment.

But we plea for patience. And we’re granted much more. We’re granted what? Pardon. Be patient with me, I’ll make it right.

I’ll fix it. And he says, I’ll tell you what, I’ll do one better. I’ll clear your debt. I will remove that from you. That’s called grace.

And then the second servant represents people who hurt us. And their debt is real. But comparatively speaking, small. There’s a potential pushback right now. You’re saying, oh no, no pastor, you’re wrong there.

The hurt I feel is great. The Bible’s simply saying, compared to the debt we have with God. For the sins we committed that caused his son to go to a cross. The debt we have from somebody else, the injury is very small in comparison. And just like the king, when we pleaded for relief from the debt, there was no means for repayment.

The same is true with the person that hurts you and me. There’s no means of repayment. They share in common that same attribute. Now the point, Jesus answers Peter’s question. Hey, how long, what if this doesn’t work?

How long shall I go with this forgiveness thing? He answers the question without rage. That’s the tone of verses 32 to the end of the chapter. The whole spirit of this story, Jesus is telling, turns to, are you kidding me? That’s the tone.

So like I just told this, there’s this beautiful release of burden from sin. Ask anybody that comes to Jesus. They will tell you that. It was like I was walking with this 10 tons of burden. And I met Jesus and it was my burden.

And he said, it’s no longer your burden. You’re free of it. You don’t have to pay it back. I paid it for you. Amen?

And I did it freely. I did it while you were beating me. I paid it back. I paid your debt. That’s the gospel.

You just receive it. But the outrage here is how can you not turn to those that hurt you and release them as well? How dare you not accept, you accepted forgiveness for your sins, but how dare you refuse to forgive others? Their sin. That’s the audacity here.

That’s the, are you kidding me? God forgives us and his forgiveness of us is a standard for us to follow when it comes to forgiving others. Without condition, fully, fully, freely, graciously, the exact same way. C.S.

Lewis made another observation, insightful connection to be a Christian. Means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. Remember those words, Ephesians 4, 32? “Forgive just as God in Christ has forgiven you.” When Jesus told this story, he was foretelling the cross that’s seven chapters later, eight chapters later.

He was foretelling the cross where he would do the very thing he’s asking us to do, just as. And Peter, who asked the question, “How far should I go?” Well, Peter was restored after he betrayed Jesus. He denied even knowing him, “You know the story well.” The night Jesus was arrested and crucified.

I don’t know this guy. Right after that, a short time, maybe a week, perhaps two weeks later, Jesus met him up in Galilee, north of Jerusalem where Jesus was crucified. Met him up in Galilee and made a point of reaching out to him and saying, “Hey, Peter, let’s get this thing fixed.” Do you love me? Feed my sheep.

Do you love me? Feed my lambs. Do you love me? Feed my people and follow me, Peter. Follow me again.

Just like at the beginning. You know what happened? Peter followed him. Long after Jesus had returned to heaven, Peter was that a pot will read the first twelve chapters of Acts and you’ll see what difference it made. He was a changed man.

And then he went on to actually write, put together two letters, first and second Peter. And in those two letters, what he focuses on. Jesus and his forgiveness. He said, “When Jesus was reviled, he did not revile in return. When he was hurt, he did not retaliate.”

Punch back. He made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly, quoting from 1 Peter 2. He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross so that we might die to sin and live for righteousness. So when you are taking part in community, which is what we’re made for, and I don’t want to be a prophet and predict this, but it’s almost a certainty.

Somebody’s going to hurt you. Somebody’s going to step on your toes. Don’t retreat this time. Don’t run from community. Just as Christ has forgiven you, just forgive them.

My seminary professor of years ago went on to develop a ministry called Freedom in Christ’s Ministries, Neil Anderson. And he did so because his observation was that people are bound. They’re in bondage because largely because of unforgiveness. They got hurt and they stuffed the hurt and they’re half a person. And he made a lot of statements in bondage, breaker and victory over the darkness, a couple of incredible books that he wrote.

But he made this statement, “Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another person’s sin.” It’s agreeing to live with the consequences of someone in this community that hurt me, that hurt you or that will. Forgiveness is costly. We pay the price of the evil we forgive, just like Jesus. I’d like you to bow your heads with me this morning.

Some of you deserve a prize this morning for the composure you’ve displayed because in a conversation like this, in a message like this, it’s not long before you’re staring once again at that hurt as though it happened today. As though it happened, before you came to church today, it’s that real to you. I say you deserve a prize, but you probably deserve an Emmy for acting. That makes us phonies when we do that. You know what really does?

Like my friend that was the trainer of the whale, you kn

Transcript machine-generated from the sermon audio, so it may contain errors. 5,452 words.