Stay Connected

I try not to be obvious But others seem to be getting into it and I I don’t know I don’t I don’t think if it was known what I’m going through or where I’m at That I would that I’d be welcomed here And that’s that’s just not true Because your completeness in mind Originates from the same person Jesus. It’s not because I got it together Or you’ve got it together. It’s not on the other side because I tripped and stumbled or fumbled or failed or you

did because we got Jesus I’ll be gone for two years and Why did I say that? He’s coming back for Christmas because we have lots of gifts for him so Now this is my son and My girls are here with Debbie and me today and it’s I don’t know it’s just very special for us that feels like the Von Trapp family last time we’re going to be together for quite a while but You know what I love my people and we love Jesus too we our

completeness comes from Him and so let’s let’s worship this last little time God I love you and I thank you for what we can be as we belong to you Thank you for the cost That your son paid to make unity to make community such a beautiful thing We could be here with family as I am this morning my own family But we can be here with this broader family the people of God the family of God your family Jesus If thank you for that common

place that draws every heart in this place together That we belong to you and I know there’s some here that don’t yet. They’re still trying to figure it out.

They’re they’re still not sure But God I pray that they would they would see a realness in us Mostly in you because I’m not real all the time, but you are And you’re you’re the one that makes broken people complete So we love you Lord. We really do and we want today to take us the next step with each other because of you in Jesus name Amen. Amen. Have a seat church. Good morning everybody.

Good morning. It is a good morning Shalom That means something Like peace, but it’s more than that. It’s wholeness It’s probably community. It’s a lot of things and it’s what they speak a lot in the land that Almost 40 of us are going to in less than a week But that Shalom isn’t just the place in the Middle East. It’s here.

It’s this it’s just gathering. It’s the grace point family and so You know my hope is that like I pray often Lord I pray that you would use mine words and the words from your From your Bible to comfort the afflicted and if you’re here today and you’re afflicted I pray that you’ll leave here comforted because you heard from God And then I pray the opposite that that these words would also afflict the comfortable Goes the other way that God would use something today that might

stir in you Like it’s stirred in me and kind of caused me to twitch a little make make adjustments Like cinching up a belt or something. You know going wait a minute. I got to tighten that up. I got a crisp that up as As I as I take next steps with Jesus This series is called community what we’re made for and It’s all built on the Bible everything that comes from this pulpit had better be or you you need to find a better church Okay,

so it’s God.

This is what God has to say and the truest thing that could be said about any subject and Including your life and mine is what God has to say amen Isn’t that cool in a world of opinions? It’s what God has to say. It’s it’s most important. We began this series Community a month ago And we established right at the beginning a foundational fact something that is That is stated by God right out of the gate. I mean right out of the shoot God says it’s that aloneness is not good So he says that when Adam was the only human on the planet And he says you know we got draft one draft two and skunk one skunk two We got all these other animals, but this human is all alone and God every single day Assessed his creative work and said this is good.

This is good. This is good There was a day and a night and it’s good. It’s good. It’s good And then at the end he comes to Adam and says this is not good Not his creation they wasn’t questioning that but his aloneness is not good community on the other hand is good and That’s what we’ve tried to draw attention to it’s I got to say in honesty Of course, it’s messy and complicated So what we’re talking about is good, but it’s complicated, isn’t it? Times

it’s real and messy But community is better than alone we learned from Really an unforgettable truth from the very first recorded murder of all places was a crime scene in the Bible Genesis 4 it didn’t take long to get there Jeff Kane who killed his brother his little brother Abel remember and it was it was ugly and then God came By the way God saw it all But he comes to Kane and he says where’s your brother Abel Kane and Abel’s answer was both defensive and

defiant His answer was I don’t know What am I my brother’s keeper that was the tone of his answer to God who came asking I?

Got no idea where he is. Of course, you know where you buried him Why should I care was the am I my brother’s keeper Sort of a shrug and a dismiss Turns out that that was the wrong answer and it was in every way the wrong attitude The conclusion we came to that God wanted us to come to is yes, we are in fact our brothers and our sisters Keepers Talked about what does it look like to keep? It’s kind of a good thought What is

it? What does it on my brother’s keeper? What does it look like when I’m keeping and it it’s things like I’m attentive I’m aware I’m observant and I take risks when needed to reach out and move in the direction of somebody that seems Seems to be fading Sheldon Von Aiken wrote a fabulous book called Mercy Had mercy in the name, okay, anyway a Severe mercy that was the book read it with Kleenex, okay, or just your sleeve and prepare to use it And he described this

this fade called creeping separateness vivid terms Because people don’t always just sort of clear out today In this moment they fade they slowly gradually Inperceptively you ever watch snowmelt it’s real slow Sure enough you look I was laying on the back lawn yesterday one of my my daughters We were all out there for a while.

We’re just looking there at the end of the day It was weird looking up at clouds been a long time since we you know hey that guy’s got a knife that cloud hey There’s a gun on that one. No, we weren’t saying that but but we were saying things like Look at how they fade Okay, but it was really slow and then sure enough. It’s gone that cloud creeping separateness happens in community my point There was a cloud up there now it’s gone There was a

brother over there Now he’s gone So today I want to call attention to one of the constant threats To this to community It’s disconnection It’s the temptation to pull back to separate to go solo and Folks make no mistake about this you can write this down and take it to the bank it is like gravity constant The temptation to disconnect isn’t something you worked out in your teen years Oh when you were in your mid 20s, oh when you got married. Oh pick your place It’s

a constant temptation just like gravity if I drop something right now gravity guarantees it hits the floor right This constant Temptation toward disconnect is very real So I want us to glean this morning wisdom found in Proverbs About someone that you know And listen closely someone you know or Used to know well I’m Turned to Proverbs 18 right now and I want you to locate that section of God’s word with me as you turn there. I want you to think about someone I Want you to

think about someone Who isn’t here?

Okay think about someone who isn’t here Isn’t here you used to sit with them so you know they were here. Okay, you’re with me Used to worship with them maybe camped with them vacation You had meals together you played together You ate together you we would say today you hung out together Question where did they go? And Do you know why they’re no longer here now? Let me make it more personal. Do you know why they’re no longer?

You’re no longer part of each other’s lives Now I have friends I can point to that are far away. They’re in they’re in places in Atlanta and East Coast people and up in Minnesota who would move to Minnesota from Oregon? I don’t get that but I got people like that. I’m that’s not what I’m talking about they had jobs that changed and all this cool stuff, but I’m not talking about that I’m concerned for the person we might have on our minds right now and we

don’t know where they went or Why they’re gone? Back right now you’re bought it’s awkward because you’re going oh gosh There was a man recently That used to be part of a prayer group that I was in and I haven’t seen him in a while And that’s what got me thinking okay, I’m oh that’s weird He could just be on the long vacation lucky, but or he could just you know creeping separateness So stay connected works in my life when I think of that brother you

with me now, okay so we’re about to see that person in Proverbs and just maybe we might see ourselves verse one an unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts corals New American standard reads this way he who separates she who separates themselves seeks their own desires and corals against all sound wisdom New living pretty good an unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts Corals now let’s stop as we often do and say who wrote that again God wrote

it all But here we wonder what was Solomon all about because Solomon King David’s son was the human author of these words so imagine Solomon a king in a palace because that’s where they lived right in Jerusalem So this king is in his castle not really a castle a palace and he’s he’s a lot of things we think of when we think of kings he’s powerful right He’s insulated you don’t just walk up and go yo king how’s it going and you spend time with him

and come into his office No, he’s somewhat isolated a step back.

He’s therefore Insulated as well. He doesn’t have regular contact with a lot of people and that leads to he’s probably somewhat lonely He’s the big deal everybody knows him. He isn’t know everybody He’s He knew I think Solomon knew very firsthand what he was describing when he wrote these words He’s likely experienced these these things and at some level think About you and me or we share something in common as well. He was like everyone in another sense It was all those things. I just said

of a king, but he was like everyone in this gathering a man or a woman With a job his was the ruler With ambitions, you know, I want to try this this next year in my in my leadership as king or in your job, whatever he’s got fears Actually has a few friends He’s got enemies to my describing you You know, he’s he’s he’s got strengths and he’s got weaknesses and he’s faced daily Solomon is With decisions that are not too different than yours in mind

Say well, what are those decisions?

One is do I choose to be close or not? To other people I Don’t know maybe you have this little are they safe meter? Can I trust you meter? Which is another question a daily decision? Do I trust people or have I been burned too many times to do so?

Do I open myself up to relationships or do I hold up and stay safe? Okay, I’m gonna just lay it out there for a second. I Went through a few years here where I got I got beat up I Got hurt bad. I’m sure I caused hurt myself But in the process it caused me to do something Involuntarily, you know that in a medical sense what that means like everybody’s breathing right now And you’re not having to tell yourself breathe quick everybody breathe right deep breath Cleansing breath, you know, we don’t have to do that So so for me the involuntary the automatic thing that happened Didn’t really think about it consciously until I was sort of braced with it. Somebody said you seem to be hiding And I and I didn’t resist I said really what I mean, what’s your what’s your evidence and they told me you?

You’re aloof you’re you’re getting Distant you’ve always been that guy that that would sit come sit and Hang out hug the stranger next to you. Why not? We’re not friends, but we’re gonna be you know You’re not doing that as much. This is this is now a couple years. I’m it’s safer to tell you this right now And I started thinking of the turtle that my neighbor friend had growing up in his backyard it was a big Turtle a box turtle and my brother and I were little boys six or eight something like that ten years old We went in his backyard and we started playing with the turtle because it was cool We had dogs.

He had a turtle and it would you know do what turtles do just sort of slowly meander across the dichondra grass and Which is and then and then we got down on the grass and we began to kind of approach it and it would come thinking there’s food in our hand and sure enough sometimes Would be and it would just very sloth like Take it and eat whatever it is And we thought I have this would be cool. Let’s check the turtle so So it would come closer and we would have a little little twig nothing No food this time little twig and we would kind of poke it in the nose and the Turtle does what when you get poked in the nose? It pulls back and says hey, that wasn’t fun. Why did you do that? We were on a first-name basis.

We were friends Why did you do that right? At least its look was like that and it pulled back a little bit and then we thought well That was kind of cool eventually kind of cruise along forgets all about it And then would come up closer and we would we would do a little more than a stick this time. We would go like a thump on the nose All boys are like this moms. I’m sorry. They’re all like this all of us Okay We burned ants when I was little okay with a man magnifying glass it was really fun so anyway and I thump this thing and and the turtle did what I guess I could have predicted it sucked its neck head back in its shell and Arms or legs.

I’m not sure what they’re called on the turtle, but they came retracting and the landing gears hidden now Including the tail. I mean, it’s just a shell right and it didn’t matter what we did to change To get the turtle to trust us again That turtle looked at us like are you kidding me? If I could make a phone call I would call Turtle protective services right now on you Right you with me Now I bring out the humor because that’s just who I am but I was that turtle and I was hiding and I’d been burned and I had trust and it went against me and And I’m not mister innocent here, okay, but I’m just telling you I Relate to what I’m presenting to you here. Do I open myself up again, or do I stay hold up and? Safe in my shell Sounds pretty similar don’t you think?

To something that you can relate to and so So risky that I think some say no to connecting This title slides been looking at you and me all morning community Some of you are going in nice artwork, but I’m not going there So Solomon wisdom is from for those who pull back and are tempted to stay safe His critique begins with a an assessment of Disconnecting and I’ll just call it what he calls it. It’s selfish you see in verse one Disconnecting is selfish I want

you to notice something here. It’s it’s not a passive persona this person has in other words. They just disconnect and they they’re quiet And shy no it says they pursue see that word you can circle that word because it’s key here It’s a pursuit of this person of this type of disconnected person Think of it as a drive or an urge They have a spirit about them and what’s in it for me sort of spirit I want you to notice also its self-separation they they do

this themselves. It’s not like a Other people did this to them Now they may have hurt them They may have flicked them like the turtle, but they made a choice to pull back and so did I And and New American Standard calls it they seek their own desire.

That’s that’s pretty descriptive. This isn’t something done By others to self. It’s it’s a personal choice to pull back from people Selfish after all is focused on what what’s best for self. That’s the very nature of selfish So it makes that person becomes a consumer and not a contributor And it makes them more of a taker than a giver and Jesus was the one that said in Acts 20 verse 35 It’s more blessed to give in fact than to receive You become the opposite of that so disconnection at some level says Solomon is Selfish it has selfish ends. I want you to notice also in the same verse Disconnection is not smart.

You see the second half of verse one against all sound judgment It starts corals disconnecting is not a smart path Connecting in contrast is smart There’s a lot of good to connecting New American says it’s wise New living says it’s common sense to connect That’s a good thing and it’s wise But disconnecting in contrast is not wise And going solo lies in the heart when it does it it there’s a good chance that if you’re one of those people that is that tends to separate or

pull back or hide out You find these words that you’re hearing somewhat difficult to hear That’s where I get the word they start Against such a suggestion that they become something other than unfriendly they resist it they they go against all judgment that starts quarrels For them. Here’s how it looks quarrels is a word for snarling or showing your teeth It’s kind of the no Pastor I don’t want to be that guy It’s it’s that’s that’s a pathway to potential painful and I don’t want to

be a part of that I I It becomes defensive don’t tell me That aloof or alone isn’t good and sometimes the reaction in this Whirl that we’re reading about here all sound judgment is even worse It means I’m not open to input that challenges my approach This is working for me might be dysfunctional and By the way, it is it’s something that’ll get you through the day avoid intent Legalments CS Lewis said to love it all is to be vulnerable love anything in your heart will

be wrong and possibly broken If you want to keep your heart from hurting you must give your heart to no one not even an animal Lewis said Then he adds the only place to be completely safe from all the dangers of love outside of heaven is hell So it’s gonna be a vulnerability To to avoid this disconnect The Barna research group revealed a troubling contrast they they asked in America the adult population Are you would you align yourself with Christianity and shockingly 82% said yes 82%

said yes And a follow-up question revealed that less than half of those are involved Any Christian community of any kind? Suggesting that I’m not just talking to people that got this thing figured out There’s a whole bunch of people even in this room that are here real rare I don’t know if it’s because you’re afraid that you have this turtle experience in your past But wouldn’t surprise me It’s like that’s like someone saying you know, I’m a married man. I’m a family man. I’m all in

all All the time and then you you hear them admit no, I’m rarely home in fact.

I haven’t been home in months I Don’t use my phone to call my wife. I’m I have very little contact with my kids I’m a family man I’m a big-time marriage guy Well, they may be technically correct they may wear a ring and they may have offspring But I doubt if they’re going to teach too many seminars on how to how to really have a healthy home life, right? So disconnecting from community the Bible says is can I put it in sort of blunt words from

This verse we’re looking at it’s both selfish and stupid It is He who seeks his own desires Quarles against his selfish and quarrels against all sound wisdom. That’s that’s dumb. That’s food Thankfully the Bible though isn’t silent about the flip side and I want to spend the last couple of minutes on the flip side of this the benefits of community Okay, and we don’t have to leave this chapter Let’s stay right in Proverbs and just look at a couple other examples the next one is at

the end of this chapter the chapter started out rough Right you’d agree verse 1 a little rough a little hard to hear verse 24 ends actually quite nice Describing something attractive very positive one who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin that’s negative But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother That’s positive wouldn’t you agree How I was very close to my brother You know many of you have a brother or sister think of that kind of closeness and And if they’re still

in your life and they’re still close you know exactly what verse 24 is talking about most of us know however that an abundance of friends is Not the same does not equal companionship You with me I’m saying here companionship is found in true community and abundance of friends is not the same as saying I Have close companions you can ask anybody who has a Social media presence of any kind and it’s measured by a lot of different things Tweets and friends and likes and all this

stuff and they will confess That companionship is not found in popularity And they’ll acknowledge that Lots of friends isn’t the same as this verse we’re reading about a true friend true friends They really are Solomon compares that kind of closeness in a true friend to a brother or a sister They have your back They’re with you through thick and thin that’s the kind of person being described in verse 24.

They are loyal Of course right now some of you are taking this all the way as you should to the best of the Bunch to the epic example of true friend and who is that? Jesus right? What friend could possibly say and deliver on I will never leave you never ever ever will I forsake you? But Jesus did that’s the kind of friend Jesus was the one in John 15 who says a new command and I give to you that you love one another Greater love

has no one than this that one laid down his life First friends So if you’re thinking that kind you’re looking for an example in your mind of this kind of companionship You will certainly find it in Jesus and it’s worth searching for in others Kevin Crawley I see you stand there. I want you to join me for a minute here if you would because Kevin and I have had lots of conversations But one recently that really grabbed my attention Hand that to you You don’t see

him very often because he’s back in the booth keeping this thing together.

Let’s give it up for that That’s a good thing buddy Right on and so so is so is cliff but cliffs even below the bar. There he is. Good job cliff. All right, so so Kevin you’ve been going through a very rough personal patch for a while I have and I Think it’s you’re comfortable with that Me saying that that’s left you feeling at times lonely very lonely and very isolated an understatement, but I’m okay with that, okay You don’t have to be so technical, okay? So no, it’s really true, right?

It is true. It is true. Yes, and so I Said a true friend comes through they got your back. They’re with you in thick and thin You had an experience recently that I just went are you kidding me that is so Worth telling What happened? Well, I guess first off my survival is Part due to community here the life groups that I’m in both the Alexander life group and the Bradley life group.

They have been tremendous nothing but love and support no judgment but Not all about love and support no judgment hard to find Now you’re gonna get 200 joining your life group, but anyway, go ahead. It’s really it’s really good Okay, so I think it was one of your earlier sermons in this series where you were talking about Baring each other’s burdens and supporting each other carrying each other praying for each other lifting each other up and that meant a lot to me and I Went out to my car and I first I thought there was something on my car and I thought Maybe my car has been vandalized or something on the back windshield that I wasn’t I didn’t put it there It wasn’t there when I came into church and it was okay. It was on a Sunday. It was on a Sunday. Okay, and I know who did it.

Okay Okay But it was a wonderful thing at first I looked up and I thought oh boy, what is this and it brought a smile when I read the message that was on my Back windshield and then after the initial smile the tears began to flow and it’s so easy for me to flow now, but Somebody wrote that So honk this guy is awesome. I don’t know what they saw in me, but the message was great Several people honked at me and it just brought such

joy that someone would Be with me and walk with me and write that on my car and let that be known and I Took that picture because I felt attacked that night and I wanted to capture this and so I did and I treasure this picture And I treasure the person who did this. So if you are in here Angie Ariola you You have my thanks, so since you’re not in a car you can applaud this guy’s awesome all right I Just thought that was so

good and I said bro. You just got to show that and share that story So let’s stay right here for a second more in Proverbs and pull out some more things things that matter about This community idea the benefits you turn turn a couple of chapters near the end chapter 27 and you’ll see what I’m talking about Honk this guy’s awesome. Did you did you wash it off?

Still there it’s good mmm 27 six wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses We write this down accountability is found in true community Accountability is what verse 6 is talking about it is found in true community Don’t wrinkle your nose at this principle Because if on the surface you’re like wounds from a friend that seems weird, but an enemy multiplies what’s that about multiplies kisses I Don’t know of an exception to the the need that verse 6 is talking about and

in in people’s lives in my life for sure It is understood that without a true friend or two wounding us as need to We will not Be who God wants us to be we will in fact miss out on one of the greatest benefits of community and that’s accountability So question do you have someone in your life who will wound you Seems like a strange question to ask, but that’s exactly what verse is saying Do you have someone like that or is your Inner circle sort

of populated with those who only say what? What you want to hear The Bible calls people like that friends like that kisses from an enemy So the question I’m asking is you and I need someone who’s in fact more committed to our character and Will risk it by wounding us then to our comfort who will not say What needs to be said? Because by golly that would upset me You with me? Do you have somebody in your life? It’s like that.

We will say wait a sec. I Had a friend he moved away from here, and I’ve missed him since he left but he I still remember more than one occasion But this one time when I I came to the office one day and I was I don’t even know what the story was but I was complaining about my wife Debbie that’s shocking right I Get it if it goes the other way, but anyway, so I’m and I’m just pacing the floor, and I’m just giving him an earful And I’m saying you know what’s the deal, you know this is you know, this is It’s not good, you know, Debbie. Hey, right? Somebody said I’m I have a long day. How about a long flight to Tel Aviv?

But I was complaining and here’s the deal this friend he let me talk and he heard me out and patiently listened and Then I remember him slowly starting to shake his head, and I’m thinking yeah, he gets it – yeah My wife’s probably behaving like that too, right? You know and instead his very first words were Steve I don’t I don’t see what you’re saying about Debbie I’m like what? And then he went on to say I think I think actually you’ve got the problem I

Mean I just remember kind of my we my knees getting weak and needing a chair and I’m thinking I mean, I mean what first thought was you are a traitor you are a traitor Where’s that friendship and then I went darker than that I thought did Debbie call you and tell you to say that I Mean, you know, I’m just thinking this all out. You know what he was doing wounding me Wounds from a friend can be trusted You know what else happened that day? Debbie

got a better husband Because of his wound We’re all better we’re all Oh my goodness So accountability Here’s what I’m saying tough love is served up in community You got to have somebody that will go you know you stink You do you do and I love you enough to tell you that and if I didn’t tell you that I would be the second part of this verse I would be an enemy kissing you all over You don’t need that Proverbs says There’s one more in chapter

7 28 look at verse 17 iron sharpens iron so one person sharpens Another would you write this down maturity is found in true commitment?

Community maturity is found in true community companionship is found in true community accountability is found in true community and Here companionship found in or a maturity is found in true community It’s the effect of two pieces of iron rubbing against each other now have a sharpening effect It files away some some immaturities and some Some stuff that’s that can be replaced with better it Rubbing shoulders with somebody like this is the effect of being around better ideas than you showed up with Better thinking better better

views of life Iron sharpens iron in this kind of daily kind of contact When we’re together in community that has a Interactive effect by having that person close enough to you to file some of this these these Inadequate or immature ideas it makes you a better person Accountability will correct you when you’re sinning against your wife or whoever that your story is But maturity is something that that you need somebody in your life to produce So stay connected That’s the idea stay connected it. It’s the

smart thing And did you know this? Here’s a bonus Matthew 18 Jesus made this really cool statement. He said where to or three or more are Gathered they’re connected together. They’re in community What’s he say?

There I am with them I Like you to bow your heads God there’s a there’s a sense I have in my heart that there’s a lot of people in here that want to mature We want to be we want to be more wise this time next year than we are today and We want to mature and that’s found in the times we have together That’s supplemented and supported by community And very few of us walk really well for very long without without accountability and And so

I pray that rather than pushing back and running from that You could help us to overcome the hurts and those times we’ve lived in the shell Come out with it and and say okay Why am I afraid to tell you who I am because who I am’s all I got I’m afraid you won’t accept me I pray in Jesus name that we would we’d be okay with each other with imperfect people with sinful people we’d be okay because You’re the one that changes hearts and from

there you will change those sinful habits of our hearts So today God we are people that come to you looking for Compagnionship and we know that starts with you You’re here this morning, and you don’t have that friend who’s closer than a brother Jesus I want to invite you this morning to respond to him You want to make your way to the front as we sing the last couple of songs It’s not this is not just decorations at the end. This is real important response time

You’ve lived solo you’re you’re part That group of people that has no connection to community, but you’ve been talking like you’re the Jesus follower He talked a lot about his bride the church You’ve stayed away from the church. I know the reasons that people like me in the church like you But we’re better together we really are let’s stay connected Starts with Jesus and then it results in being letting down the guard and saying I want to I Don’t want to live aloof. I want to

come out of my shell God I pray supernatural things will happen in these moments and Powerful next steps will be taken by people Inspired by your Holy Spirit this morning And the eternal words that you have revealed to us from your word Have your way now we pray in Jesus name

Transcript machine-generated from the sermon audio, so it may contain errors. 6,244 words.